THE BOTTLE AND I

I looked in the mirror today
I tried but couldn't look away
I felt afraid that I might see
Something wrong with me
It was hard to look inside
I had to pierce the false pride
As I broke through the tangle
I could look from another angle
Like a lightbulb had just been lit
This humbled me a little bit
I found myself in a room
In one corner lurked my doom
I approached the corner against my will
A bottle perched on a window sill
The window that had no light
I grabbed that bottle in my plight
It burned me in and out
Something was wrong no doubt
I dropped the bottle on the floor
And started walking toward the door
It rolled past me in front of my feet
I felt no mightier match I'd meet
It grew so large I couldn't see
There was nowhere left to flee
I went to the window for a leap
To escape the hazards I might reap
I opened the window and in flowed a stream
A trickle of light I had never seen
It touched my heart and felt so warm
And engulfed me in such a storm
I raised my arms and fell to my knees
To praise this thing that I might please
A feeling grew I had not felt
A winning hand that I was dealt
I raised my head and came to my feet
To approach this thing I had to meet
I went to the bottle to look inside
It seemed there was nothing left to hide
I turned away afraid to look
But the light still shone that I'd mistook
I got a strength and it grew
It felt so good this I knew
So I looked inside and it was bad
But because of the light I was not sad
For the light is so bright
I said to myself "you're alright."

I wrote this poem soon after my sobriety date of July 13, 1981. I am still free of drugs and alcohol.