Poems and The Truth

Poems from April 9, 2010-03-10

The Message

waiting . . .
waiting . . .
waiting . . .
breath . . .
waiting . . .
waiting . . .
hmmm

We Know

Let´s stop fooling ourselves
we know what we are doing

No Title

This voice in my head
I can´t hear it
It´s not you or me
But it’s the One
I need to listen
I know it´s there
It´s the key to my salvation

New Light

Shades of antiquity
Shelter our thoughts
Chaining us to shadowy reflections
of life at another time
Each day new light shines

The Truth

Why does the truth scare us so much? It is the only thing that exists. It is unavoidable. Undeniable. It is going to get us in the end. So why resist?

Ultimately the true truth is unknowable. Because it is One with God. And yet our only task, ultimately is to seek the truth, accept the truth and be the truth as we understand it. In fact, that is what is always happening any way. But we don´t have to live an ignorant truth. We can seek. That is the most sublime and fulfilling task that we can pursue, accomplish. The truth is Love. And then it is not. But to know the truth of Love as Jesus taught, or even a small portion, is to glimpse the Divine unknowable. The truth is relative, and it is not. The truth is achievable and it is not. For once we have reached the truth, there will be a new truth, and this process goes on into infinity. At least until the day when we emerge, or re-merge with our Source, Our God, the One.

It is the longest journey we can ever take. And yet is closer than the smallest atom. Because we are immersed in the truth. But we will not know the truth as I share these words on this page. Words never explain any more than to be a guide. A roadmap. And the experience becomes itself in process, and from that we have an opportunity to experience the truth, in relative terms.

But to be mindful of this, to be conscious is the most wonderous experience. Because then we can drop all of our worries, woes, plans, intrigues and embarrassments and just tell it like it is. We can just tell people what happened, what is happening, or how we see it, honestly.

True freedom, wonder, glory, adventure emerge from the sincere attempt. But we cannot depend on our mind to guide us in this. We must also be wanting to open a channel to our heart. Because as I have pursued this process, only recently becoming conscious that I should align myself with the pursuit of truth, have I really validated this sense that the path to truth is through my own heart. The truth for me today, is that there is only one path to God, and I believe that Jesus was and is trying to convince me of this, and that path is through my own heart. And each other person´s path is through their hearts.

Starting today - The New Me - I Am

The New Me - I Am

Here is the first message of this new Writer person I am becoming. Finally, I am just letting go and trusting that I will be lead to where I need to go. I am going to stop pushing the river, as I have likely been doing most of my life.

It is strange I have been writing and editing other people´s work for 20 years. I have been saying I want to write a book someday for I don´t know how many years.

I did write a book last year, and have another one well on the way, but I didn´t believe I was a writer. I guess I have been afraid that I can´t make a living at it. Why not?
This is an interesting process. It has taken a long time, but I guess the perfect amount of time, because this is where I am.

I am currently waiting for guidance, about the next steps. I have more than enough information in my head, and on my computer to do all kinds of stuff, but that is what I have been doing for the last 50 years. But now it is a matter of the heart. I have heard that the heart, one of our 5 brains, is by far the most powerful. I also have learned that Jesus who was trying to get start thinking from there. At different times I totally trusted my heart, but often would quickly run back to my head. But my heart has been guiding me all along. That is why I am here, now.

Now, I relax, say a prayer, and wait for the voice in my head to tell me just what the next step is. And I am not kidding about the voice in my head. The one that has been ranting, and worrying, etc. all of these years, is not me. The calm, confident, relaxed, and seemingly all knowing one is.

I´ll be sure to let you know what happens.

With Great Love,
Andy

How to Live

Ok let’s face it all forms of government have failed to perform. All organized religions have failed. Economics, the money system works bass-ackwards. The idea of survival of the fittest is not how the universe operates. The forms of organized religion and governments have damaged the planet and allowed the majority of the population to live in squalor and misery. The rich have been miserable too, because living prosperously when others are suffering will not ultimately lead to a fulfilled life.

So what principles can we establish by which to create an ever expanding life? How can we turn things around? If we were to “go back to the drawing board” and start over, what could we do?

This idea came to me many years ago when I thought about personal responsibility inside of corporations. Ultimately, there is no “passing the buck” in life, even though “chain of command” has created this preposterous idea: that if someone is my master or boss, and they tell me what to do, I have no responsibility for my actions. This is worse than a lemming mentality. For example: my boss gets an idea that it is a good idea to jump off a cliff, so he tests the idea by telling me to jump off the cliff. He’s my boss, so I have to do it. What happens, I die, or am severely crippled for the rest of my life. Now in truth both of these possibilities are not as bad as we think. In fact, at least in this world, they can lead to great demonstration. However, the point of argument here is, just because my boss made the decision, am I not responsible for the action?

What happens to my boss, maybe he doesn’t die, but in a way, hasn’t he suffered a worse consequence? Isn’t that how it really works? That if I benefit at the expense of another, whether it be another person, another life form, or the planet, I ultimately lose out much more – because like the law of giving is multiplicative, so is the Golden Law, the retributions for ignorance, especially intentional, will come back around, multiplied. Cosmically, or some would say karmically, I will pay a price, some day. But this too is “bass-ackwards”, for the reason “not” to do something is not about saving my own hide.

However, beyond the potential benefits gained from passing from this life, or the powerful demonstrations that can come from people who overcome physical and mental challenges, the question remains did we come here to Live or to Die?, at least in this physical form. If we could learn the lessons of Love, truly, I believe that we would have to answer that we are born to Live, period. This conclusion is what Albert Schwietzer referred to as “will to live”. His simple but profound realization, that all life forms are born and have the creative source’s inherent aim “to survive”, to live a full life, then led him to realize the fact that, to live in absolute harmony with other beings, and ultimately with himself, he needed to establish a foundation, or “ethic” for his existence. His epiphany he called “reverence for life” – and that means all life – including insects and plants.

"So what is the point here?", you ask - "I don't see the 'How to Live"'in this" and "where is this all coming from?" I don't know, but it feels like inspiration. I woke up this morning, after a wonderful Facebook chat last night with a high school friend Tom Dooley who has been on a similar life trek as I. It’s as if he and I ventured out walking from Ames, Iowa, as high school acquaintances, to experience the world and life in all its trials and tribulations, and through some set of serendipitous circumstances found that our wandering, weaving paths, ended meeting squarely head-on again after 30 years.

I found myself all last night dreaming, but also half-dreaming, about some of Tom’s experiences and insights that he has come to. That Everything is only One! Everything is a mirror! But also as I was dreaming, and half-dreaming, I was scripting a message to Tom about my admiration for his journey. Acknowledging his accomplishments and dedication in pursuit of “the Truth”. And I’m not talking about the Christian truth, or the Buddhist truth, or the American Indian truth, or the United States truth, etc. – I’m talking about the One Truth – the One Truth that I think Christ realized, that Siddhartha realized, and that Tom Dooley realizes. There is only One thing here.

I also told him at one point that I have now realized that I had profound epiphanies when I was young. He said "Like what?" And on the spot I didn't remember this one about "personal responsibility", but this morning I did, and I became inspired to write this.

But what does this mean - the idea that there is "only One thing here"? How can this Truth, which many call love, which isn’t what it really is, because love is only a word, that has been tremendously misunderstood, but it comes as close as any word, be realized. How does one go about day to day, to make decisions in a backwards world, to move toward a world that reflects the Love of the One? How do we move from the world of wars, of suffering, of disease, of disharmony and pain to the world of love and harmony and peace and understanding? How do we move away from the “status quo” where people are searching for the truth outside only, instead of inside and then reflecting the beauty that they discover to the outside and then have it reflected back? How do we move out of the existing world we live each day where the economic system seems to be designed to destroy the very thing where the bounty comes from? “Modern” economics kills the geese that lay the golden eggs. And we blame it all on “greed”. The basic premise of Adam Smith’s economic model of scarcity, is the catalyst for greed which feeds “fear of lack”, that puts us in the modality of “get what you can for yourself and your loved ones”, but damn the rest of them. Who is responsible for all this stuff – these ideas, these theories, these beliefs, these excuses? We are! Each one of us. As individuals, we collectively contribute to the continuation of all the things we say or believe are bad. So that is where the solutions to these “apparent dilemmas” must begin. At the individual level. One person at a time. And the amazing thing is, that if I change my mind about these things that something magical happens: I will see the world differently, and subsequently the world will change!

These ideas of what is wrong or who is to blame are all based on a cop-out. If we say these things are “reality” we’ve given up: given up some of our greatest attributes and capabilities such as, imagination, agility, and adaptation. It’s not even about corporate greed or government’s incompetence or political corruption. Because in the end corporations, governments and political systems are composed of people, supposedly created and designed to serve the people. I think it comes down, basically, to personal responsibility. That I need to take responsibility, to the best of my ability, for every thought, action and deed. I would say simply that the world would change significantly if we guided our thoughts and actions by Love. At some level that should be enough. The seven "virtues of the heart" (ps): admiration, compassion, forgiveness, humility, gratitude, understanding and valor provide a wonderful “acid test” of our thoughts, actions and behavior. But how does that convert to practical methods? How do we convert the wonderful “ideas” of the seven virtues into a “practical technique” – maybe just by asking ourselves a few questions.

I suggest this list as a starting point:
- am I being asked to do something that I would do if I had to take personal responsibility for the action – or if I were to receive the negative repercussions?
- have I given some thought to how others might or might not benefit? – and this means as comprehensive a list as possible.
- am I keeping secrets?
- am I telling lies?
- do I think I can pull the wool over someone’s eyes and gain personal benefit at their expense?
- of all possible choices of action, is my action the best choice for other people, to nature, the planet, and myself?
- am I constantly challenging myself to do better? This includes helping others raise their awareness of this level of personal responsibility?
- if I were being watched by a sort of “quality overseer” would I feel ashamed of my efforts, or would I feel that I have done my best?
- am I trying to justify my actions or explain with excuses?
- am I expecting someone else to clean up my mess (this means in every aspect of my life)?
- am I willing to consider the application of “Reverence for Life” in my life?
- am I willing to take time to measure my thoughts and actions against the seven virtues of the heart: admiration, compassion, forgiveness, humility, gratitude, understanding and valor

And finally, do I realize that there is One infinite Loving presence that is overseeing all of this? So really there are not big deals. And all that I have written here doesn’t matter much at all, in the whole scheme of things, but at least I did my best.

Of course all of these things roll into the “Golden Rule”, which I believe is really The “Golden Law”, but this short list of questions provides a practical way to evaluate any given action. The fact of the matter is, that inside each one of us, is the mechanism or guidance program that will answer each of these questions – perfectly – that is if we are clear with our feelings. It’s been called “our conscience”, but it speaks to us through feelings – anxious, angry, painful or fearful (bad) feelings mean we’re making a mistake. Smooth calm, happy, comfortable feelings mean it’s a pretty good decision. The program associated with our heart feelings will guide us with absolute clarity, if we take the time to notice what they are saying to us. The questions provided here are intended to establish a means by which to measure the viability of each decision.

(ps) James of the Wingmakers (www.wingmakers.com) six virtues of the heart - I added gratitude to make it seven

How do we simplify the model?

When one looks at all of the world´s situations they look so complex. So many complexities in our lives, in the world, and if taken as a complete seems overwhelming. The key is to take it one step at a time. The best analogy is that of a mountain climber. He doesn´t take the whole trip in his head before he starts, otherwise he wouldn´t do it. He makes up his mind to go, takes the right tools, adapts, makes adjustments, in process, and step by step, one foothold and handhold at a time makes his way to the peak.

But what is our guide for our metaphorical journey to some desired destination. We have gotten so far off track, or down a dead-end road, that it is difficult to know what tools we have at our disposal to guide us toward a more harmonious world. Even our thinking is skewed. The knowledge, or what we know that we are, and what All That Is is, is quite skewed. So how do we get out of this culdesac, this dead-end situation?

I think it is a matter of finding a principle by which we can guide our thinking and actions and move toward improvement of our situation on a day by day basis. As we look at the various systems that we have created, they do not work. The evidence is all around us.

Now we may envision a new reality, one that we might call perfect, but we are so far away from that reality that we lose all hope which we have seen is another obstacle for progress. We must not work against ourselves, we must not allow ourselves to create barriers for us to achieve what our desired outcomes are. So how we accomplish this is to develop ways by which we can move progressively out of our collective conundrum, but this only happens on an individual basis! So, by what principle can we guide ourselves? I believe it is the Golden Rule – but what I believe is actually the most important universal law of the Universe.

A digression might be to talk about how just using the Word “rule”, (very likely it was supposed to be law) has made us forget, or not comprehend the true importance of this. The ten commandments were described as “rules” to live by. But as Emmet Fox wrote about in his book 10 commandments is the fact that they are actually laws. People have been inclined to break rules, because they really don´t understand that by doing things against rules they are really mostly hurting themselves. ¨Rules are meant to be broken” is a tongue in cheek saying, but who of us does not secretly believe this to be true. This may be a case where all of the things that we aren´t supposed to do, actually become very attractive and we secretly do these things but pretend that we are not. We then begin to hide from ourselves, dishonesty sets in, and then we are down the slippery slope of how can a person base a life on lying to oneself. We can see the results of this erroneous thinking by what we see in the world.

So, back to the Golden Law. It is a law. If I hurt you, I hurt me and you. But likely more me, because in the end, since the universe cannot operate on “fuzzy”, happenstance, fickle, occasional, or non-solid principles, or “laws”. For every action there will be a reaction. So if I steal something from you, at some time in the future I will pay that price (if not in this life, then in a future life). Most of us do not really understand the Golden Law. And it is not the point to follow this principle for selfish purposes, because if I am being nice just to serve myself, not concerned about the impacts on others, that is another trap.
To move out of this “far from the desired situation” in the world, I believe the Golden Law is the foundation.

Let us continue with our analogy, and imagine that our collective being has truly taken a trip down a street and we took a wrong turn and found ourselves in a culdesac, or dead-end. And for several milennia we have been circling around in the cul-de-sac.

How do we get out?

The only way to get out of a dead end is to turn around and walk back out. We start to walk step by step out. But we need some sort of guide. How will we know if we have turned back around, and started to go back to the dead-end?

It is the Golden Law.

Albert Schweitzer called it reverence for life. This idea is that we do not harm any form of life. This includes other people, insects, plants, animals, the planet. This also very much relates to Free Will. If we impose our Will, on anothers Free Will, in the end, we are going to have to rectify, or deal with the repercussions.

But as one looks at the world, most of what we do ends up damaging something. This is the evidence of how far off track we have gotten. It seems that all of our “systems” hurt something. As we observe this situation we could become totally discouraged and not even want to start the journey back. But this is the wrong perspective. We must be like the mountain climber. Take the tools, how to think, common sense and the Golden Law and begin the journey step by step.

In essence the Golden Rule becomes our measuring stick, our guide in the process. We can measure each of our steps, thoughts, actions against this Universal principle which was given to us by Jesus, and step by step, day by day begin the journey back to create the new world. All that is required is the honest and sincere desire to take the journey. As we go along we can know, that in fact we are being guided by the perfect “program” – our feelings. Also circumstance, or repercussions are a guide. They have always been here, but this is evidence of how misinformed we have been. We have not even known that God had installed an operating system that guides us perfectly, constantly providing feedback in the form of “good” or “bad” feelings, or vibrational reactions showing us whether or not we are moving in the direction of what is in our best interest.

Self reflection is another key tool We have to be able to look back on what we do and evaluate whether or not we are making progress. This should be a continual, on going process.

Also, we need to be aware that our “knowledge base” and what we have to work with will be continually improving as we go along in this process. We will gain new insights, better understanding, better skills as we continually seek improvement and progress. We essentially tap into the Divine power of Love that will continually endow more of what we need to continue on our journey toward the perfect expression of the Golden Law. This is Law. And we cannot attempt to do something, with an honest and sincere desire to do good, and not be given, directly from Source the tools, education, resources, motivation, etc. to move toward our goal.

One of the most difficult issues is the principle of measuring, or judging our progress based upon the existing thinking and dualistic system that currently operates in our world, in our “human” thinking system. We have to be astute to watch ourselves from not beating ourselves up for not learning the lessons “we think” we should have learned. Feeling guilty, getting angry at ourselves, or others, again, is a huge sign that we are heading in the wrong direction. The key to the success of this process is to be gentle with ourselves and others as almost all of us have been battered by our own judgment of ourselves. We have become masters with a whip, constantly beating our own backs, having the mistaken belief that this might be an effective way to motívate ourselves, pushing ourselves along our journey in constant oppressive judgment of our progress. We are not pack animals (in fact this is not how we should treat animals either). This is the same method that was used to submit the slaves. If we are to become loving and kind to others, we must practice it first and foremost with ourselves. Of course, we must always practice this with others, the planet, and animals as well. For all really is just One. This is the great truth contained in the Golden Law. What we do to others we do to ourselves, the others, to the One, or to God.

But we need not become discouraged when we see how far off the track we have gotten. This, apparently, is the whole point of the journey. This is what God wanted. Rome was not built in a day. A 1000 mile journey starts with one step. And with the powerful, and all present One, guiding us, and loving us while we utilize the Golden Law as our guide, we will find ourselves on a joyous journey, day by day to our visión. Our destination. But the point is not about getting somewhere, but the journey.

Thirty years to tell this Story

Today I am compelled to make public (in a way) a story that I have only told to people. It has never been written. In the last year I have received numerous external validations about the profundity of the experience, although its importance has always stayed with me personally since it happened. The most recent is a quote from Tagore which poetically expresses the unlimited opportunity, expansiveness and divinity of each individual (human) consciousness. This was my experience 30 years ago on a country road in Iowa. I believe the infinite "I Am" gave me a glimpse that I truly am the center of the Universe, in a paradoxical way. The other support that I have for sharing a story that most people would judge as "bad" is that David Wilcock publicly acknowledges his partaking of psychedelic drugs, specifically LSD. The other validation came at a workshop in 2008 where Prema Baba Swamiji presented a video clip about a researcher in New Mexico who is looking at the links of DMT, the pineal and profound spiritual experiences - as creating a sort of "doorway" to greater consciousness.

So, today reading Tagore, of which I will provide the excerpt below - I decided to share the first experience which I believe has set the stage for my spiritual life. And how I am now really coming to understand, at least at a rudimentary level, the Truth of existence.

It was 1979 and I had returned to Ames, Iowa my home town after, essentially, getting kicked out of the Air Force after only 9 months of service. I received an honorable discharge with the specification of "unable to adapt to military life." This was at the very depths of a very serious drug and alcohol problem. I had entered the Air Force hoping to escape what I felt were the "bad influences" of the drug crowd that I had been involved with in high school. It didn't work. I ended up finding out the great truth - "wherever I went, there I was". My drug problem continued to get worse in the Air Force and my loneliness also increased. So, I was relieved thinking my return to Ames would help me quit since my problem really was that I was lonely (so I justified in my mind). It is probably no surprise to people that returning to Ames my drug consumption continued unabated, and actually increased - as is a well known fact in cases of drug and alcohol addiction.

The experience that I had which I believe ended up setting the stage for my recovery happened in 1979. I have been off all drugs and alcohol since 1981. The experience happened one night when I had taken some Mr. Natural LSD. It was a particularly intense "trip" because when I went to a party, everyone looked like aliens (this was probably more true than I realized). In any case, it was a very disturbing experience. So I had to leave the party. I got in my car and took a drive to the outskirts of Ames and was just sitting in my car trying to settle down. My mind was racing.

My car, a 1966 Ford Custom, had a bad cylinder and it caused the car too shake when it idled. I kept the car running because it was pretty chilly. But the shaking disturbed me in my agitated state. So I decided to get of the car. It was a beautiful clear, crisp, cool night in Iowa. The sky was clear. I was far enough out of town to be away of the city lights so I was able to see the stars with incredibly clarity. I stood outside looking at the stars and my mind began to consider the enormity of the universe. This thought was followed with a series of thoughts resulting with me thinking about my total insignificance. I remember comparing my size with that of an ant in the world - but in actuality, I was even less significant relative to the whole cosmos. This series of thoughts really took me to a desperate place, and I felt I was heading towards "having a bad trip", which is something that I had known friends who had experienced. It is not a good thing. I was suddenly being sucked into what felt like a tornado of insignificance, black hole. My life meaning absolutely nothing - and I got scared. Then a voice. In my head, but not a sound - but a voice spoke to me. It said, "but you are standing here looking at it. If you weren't nothing would exist, at least from your perspective". Instantaneously I was set free of the desperate feelings and my consciousness was of cosmic proportions. I floated outside of the planet and was looking down, in my mind, at the "blue marble". This beautiful paradise planet that we call our home. This tiny marble floating in a vast cosmos. My thoughts then imagined us humans residing here. Our common ancestry. Our common heritage and brother/sisterhood of destiny. All one family. But then the thoughts of discord, unhappiness, suffering for no reason. I imagined that we are fighting over tiny pieces of "turf". Pieces of ground that really have no value - especially for fighting and killing over. I realized that if we are ever to hope to experience the greater reality that is our destiny we were going to have to get along. To stop fighting. To see the world as one living being - and that we are part of it. Inextricably tied to it for our continued existence. And if we are to find out what our "true purpose" is we were going to have to take care of every single being on the planet, and not just human.

I don't remember how much time passed for this vast scope of thoughts to go through my mind, and my experience. But I was totally changed. My irritation had gone and I felt absolutely wonderful.

That experience I had not fully appreciated until the last few years. Being a person in recovery I have shared many times in groups about what the experience showed me. The "grand-paradox" of existence. That I am essentially nothing and everything simultaneously. In the whole scheme of the cosmos, in my human form, I am very, very, very small. However, my consciousness creates everything. If I weren't here nothing would exist - at least from my perspective. And apparently, this huge infinite being which is often referred to as God, felt it necessary for me to be here. Just that fact, supported by the omnipotence and omniscience of the Being is HUGE! I have come to believe in that the word God doesn't work very good any more. It has been absconded, into a very limited term. The Be-ing (the I AM) that I have come to try to comprehend is infinite (which is incomprehensible) and ultimately ONLY LOVE! The depth and expanse of this Love is way beyond the capability of words to touch.

That was my experience. The contemplation of it, even today as I write, continues to reverberate through my life. And as I continue to get validation and synchronistic signs of its significance, even 30 years after the fact, it helps me to see that God opened a window to me. To glimpse a much greater reality of existence for me. I only need to relish the continued expansion of my consciousness and be GRATEFUL. For I truly believe that we live in a Fantasmical (fantastic, magical) universe,and time, and that we are all only experiencing GOOD, we just don't realize it.

Here is the quote that inspired me to share this story today:

Chapter VIII: The Music Maker from the Religion of Man Rabindranath Tagore

"A PARTICLE of sand would be nothing if it did not have its background in the whole physical world. This grain of sand is know in its context of the universe where we know all things through the testimony of our senses. When I say the grain of sand is, the whole physical world stands guarantee for the truth which is behind the appearance of the sand.

But where is that guarantee of truth for this personality of mine that has the mysterious faculty of knowledge before which the particle of sand offers its credential of identification? It must be acknowledged that this personal self of mine also has for its truth a background of personality where knowledge, unlike that of other things, can only be immediate and self-revealed.

What I mean by personality is a self-conscious principle of transcendental unity within man which comprehends all the details of facts that are individually his in knowledge and feeling, wish and will and work. In its negative aspect it is limited to the individual separateness, while in its positive aspect it ever extends itself in the infinite through the increase of its knowledge, love and activities.

And for this reason the most human of all facts about us is that we do dream of the limitless unattained--the dream which gives character to what is attained. Of all creatures man lives in an endless future. Our present is only a part of it. The ideas unborn, the unbodied spirits, tease our imagination with an insistence which makes them more real to our mind than things around us. The atmosphere of the future must always surround our present in order to make it life-bearing and suggestive of immorality. For he who has the healthy vigour of humanity in him has a strong instinctive faith that ideally he is limitless. That is why our greatest teachers claim from us a manifestation that touches the infinite. In this they pay homage to the Supreme Man. And out true worship lies in our indomitable courage to be great and thus to represent the human divine and ever to keep open the path of freedom towards the unattained;"

Discovering My Purpose

Discovering My Purpose
November 5, 2009

My professional life has been guided by an experience that I had in about 1986. I was an undergraduate student at Iowa State University in the Leisure Studies program. I had a wonderful advisor Steve Simpson, who assisted me in refining my curriculum to focus towards outdoor recreation with an emphasis on protecting the environment.

Leisure Studies was a program of study that I stumbled upon as I was trying to figure out what I was going to do when I grew up (I was 26). I had been floating between a variety of disciplines including business, biology and hadn’t found a niche. In order to fill up a semester course schedule I took an introductory Leisure Studies course. It fit perfectly. I thought ¨what better kind of work than to help people enjoy their leisure – isn’t that why we all work so hard?¨
Steve’s emphasis and teaching methods were very effective and influential. It took us to a place where we studied people like John Muir, Aldo Leopold, Ralph Waldo Emerson and other great thinkers including, still living, Fritoj Capra (Center for Ecoliteracy). Our classes consisted of readings from all of these authors and many more, combined with Steve’s true passion “experiential education”. We did classes where we participated and lead activities like biking, rock climbing, kayaking, windsurfing, and also participated on outdoor excursions.

Even though I was very enthusiastic about outdoor recreation, I was still not clear what exactly I was supposed to do with my career. I had an idea to be a naturalist videographer, but I don’t think I had the patience for that profession. My answer to my “mission” conundrum came to me on canoe trip on the St. Croix river between Minnesota and Wisconsin.

Now, as a little preparatory statement, I have discovered that many of my greatest personal discoveries occurred as a result of personal crises – times of great sorrow, struggle, or even at a juncture where I have had a choice, usually not conscious, between life or death. Those points where I was confronted with opportunities or challenges that relate to my character ,or growth as a person. In many respects this relates to spiritual growth from my life experiences.
What I relate next could be easily avoided, and part of me would rather not reveal the “true story”. However, I believe it is possibly the most important fact, because if it weren’t for the circumstances to be exactly as they were, I likely would have not had the experience that I did.
One of my personal challenges in my life has been my relations to women. I have had struggles, and it likely goes all the way back to my relationship with my own mother. My woman “chooser” usually ends up getting me with women whom I, unconsciously, wanted to save. I have a sort of “hero complex”. So back to the story, in our Leisure Studies courses there was a woman whom I had a crush on. The problem was, I was married.

We were having a wonderful experience canoeing on the St. Croix to natural areas that were only accessible from the river. The day before I had my epiphany for what my “mission” was, we had taken a hike in a pine forest. It was incredible. Quiet, the tall, straight trees, and the whispering breeze as we entered, and then the silence of the forest was so memorable. I don’t know why it had such an impact on me this time, but I remember it to set the stage for the events that would follow the next morning. We finished the hike in the forest and returned to camp. We spent some time “processing” the experience and then were prepared to go to sleep in our tents. I don’t remember the details, but I remember I wanted to get into the tent with this lady I had a crush on. But she wouldn’t let me. And the greater part of me knew that I didn’t want to anyway. It was a struggle between my lower and higher nature.

It was going to get cold that night, but I had a good sleeping bag. And maybe I was pouting, or maybe I wanted to punish myself, it could have been any number of reasons. So, I decided to sleep next to the tributary, Bear Creek, of the main branch of the St. Croix. It did get quite cold. In fact, when I awoke at daybreak there was snow on the ground.

When I awoke, I just woke up and for some reason I had this realization about what I was supposed to do in this world – what my mission was. I don’t recall the details of thoughts, or anything. But to this day that experience marks the juncture in my life where I had a clear sense of how I could make a difference. I was supposed to work to help people experience the out-of-doors. To facilitate experiences, like we were having in this class, to where people, especially young people, could have an experience that might re-connect their spirit to the spirit abundant in the natural world. I don’t know exactly how this knowing came to me, but it is as clear today as it must have been then.

Now, this mission, this purpose, or responsibility has taken me on a very winding path in my life. Sometimes my work, or experiences have seemed to be a detour, or dead-end. But I now understand, at this point, that these experiences were part of a twenty year training program. As is described in Appendix B with my Ecotourism Consulting International term paper, my path started with an idea to assist in developing businesses that would assist people’s in developing countries to create alternative economic strategies that would help protect the rainforests.
Here is a short summary of just a few of my more pertinent jobs and schooling which will provide a summary of this winding career path. To improve my credibility, and train me in natural resource management I got a masters degree in Forestry, with a focus on agroforestry and alternative energy systems. After that I spent five years with Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, first developing the first “nature tourism” program called Texas Adventures, and then running a mail-order catalog (the TPWD Collection) within the same agency. Following that took me to back to school to become the Assistant Director of the Center for Nature and Heritage Tourism, where I learned the geographical perspective, and became knowledgeable about the Internet and geographic information systems (GIS). My PhD Dissertation is entitled “Nature Tourism in Cyberspace: An Examination of it’s Geography and Character in the Network”.
Finally, I ended up being a professor and research scientist at Texas A&M University where my first responsibilities were to teach farmers and ranchers how to start a nature tourism business, to work with communities interested in nature tourism, to create a Internet based tourism information system (TexBox), to be the founder of a tourism and technology business out of the university (AdventGX) and finally to become an assistant to the Vice President for Research in the areas of new environmental technologies (hyperspectral sensors) and commercialization strategies.

After all of this, and my mentor and boss Dr. Ewing passing, I took another huge risk to get back to my original dream and left academia to come to South America to develop, real, on-the-ground strategies for rural sustainable revitalization and empowerment. Over the years, my perspectives have greatly expanded based on my understanding of political, economic, social, business and bureaucratic realities, while at the same time increasing my passion for the need to stimulate spiritual awakenings in people.

I have experienced vast and numerous experiences with people and places, but one truth that rises up from it all, that we have to help people, and protect the planet. I have also found that almost all people are inherently good, and they just need some help to understand how to better live and relate to each other and Gaia. The means to accomplish this is through a principle I call “people helping people” and through education.

In any case, the core of my ideas in this regard, related to rural revitalization and empowerment, are presented in the “Vision to Transform the World”. This story, of realizing “my mission” is the final contribution to this book “I Am Sharing” – although it very likely is just the beginning of a series of books that will go into detail about the various components and requirements of rural, regional development strategies. I feel I have been honored more than any other person with my experiences in this world. And I will continue on this meandering path, with the hopes to achieve some level of success to make my contribution to helping people to be happy and to have more fun – which is why I think that we came to the beautiful place we call Earth!

SymbiosisAG Vision

 July 31, 2016

Vision
To create a preofitable company that is delivering the highest quality soil remediation and plant vitality, bio-stimulant products achievable. To extend via technology transfer the benefits of this product to other places combined with the best methods available for food and water system sustainability while ensuring community and peoples highest quality of life.

Flow of Process
    Production scale up
    Marketing/Sales/Distribution
    Tech transfer methods

Currently SymbiosisAG has a refined, quality product. Through an agreement with the Michigan Dept. of Natural Resources we have assured supply of invasive Carp fish as our primary input for our first product.

Although this product is excellent for any soil or plant system, we have identified no-till farmer as a primary market. No-till farming is rapidly expanding in the U.S. In Nebraska, Kansas and Iowa alone there are 1,500,000 acres in no-till. And this number is growing.

To rapidly move into several markets, and to match supply with demand, we require capital to scale up production capacity.

Additionally, we need to add staff in all areas including production, sales and marketing and business development.

SymbiosisAG has been in R&D for 13 years and is ready for delivery to practically any market that grows plants of any kind.

Benefits
Our product was designed to help heal our soils without any harmful effects to our soil, food, or water systems. Additionally, because we are using an invasive species of fish as our primary ingredient we are also addressing several environmental problems, the extent to which are difficult to measure either environmentally or economically. All we might indicate is we are transforming a severe environmental dilemma into a highly beneficial line of products. Here is a brief summary of benefits:
   - begins to address carp infestation
   - derives a highly beneficial soil and plant amendment product,
   - utilizes resources of Pokagon/Potowatomi nation, providing highly needed employment and business
      development
   - creating a model for sharing the processes of production and business development to other places and
       people of need (e.g. Colombia, Costa Rica, Africa, India, Asia, etc.)
   - our vision is to commit 20% of profits towards technology transfer and extension education

Outcomes
Because our team has been involved with agriculture for several decades, we are aware of the challenges being faced at every level, including depleted soils, polluted water, food lacking nutrition and the highly deleterious effects of currently used fertilizers, herbicides and pesticides. We have an unprecedented opportunity to totally disrupt and realign these "problems" and bring food and fiber production back onto a sustainable course.

While focusing on creating a highly successful and profitable company our team is already taking steps to share benefits with other countries. Currently we have projects underway in Colombia S.A. and Jamaica (also see India, Uraguay, Nepal, Cuba, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Mexico).

Our intent is not to expand our operations in those countries, but to utilize technology transfer and assist people in those places to develop businesses. Of course we will be highly involved in that process to assure success.

Next Steps
As stated before, our greatest challenges are capital costs to scale up production and build our sales and marketing staff. Preliminary customer response to our product is positive. Companies like Monsanto and Dow are rapidly losing market share as people are realizing the disastrous effects of putting their products on our soils and foods. We have created this highly beneficial and natural product to replace those companies products for large, or small scale uses. We need now to make the public award that they have a choice. To do this will require sales and marketing staff.
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