Let it be known, that on this date July 17, 2012 we will replace the word "masterbate" with affectionate.
Definition: to lovingly touch oneself until achieving a physically spontaneous orgasmic celebration.
and, if everyone decides to participate in this transformative vocabulary occupation the United States of America will be known as the new "affectionation".
converting previously deranged sexual deprivation and abominations into a totally "groovy and fun" orgasmic celebration.
and then if we start doing this affectionating with each other like in the Beatles song "I me, me, mine" we will go down in infamy as the country that freed itself from self-imposed tyrannies by playing with ourselves whenever the fuck we wanted to.