Today I was waiting for my wife at the insurance company to get a form filed. It is actually a funny story. It turns out, according to their records, she is already married. To a 92 year old. This afternoon we have to go back to show them a piece of paper to prove it is their mistake. Another mirror - institutions.
(note: Oct. 15, potentially a sad turn to the story, the man died shortly after the insurance company sent him a letter about a law suit – he was 92—but then again, maybe a happy ending).
While she was dealing with that, I was having a beautiful meditation. Then I went outside to watch people. I was having so many interesting thoughts. Then I thought about my friend's brush with death. A near death experience, pneumonia that settled around his heart. And I thought about his heart—it is wonderful and generous.
Then I started looking at people and realized they all have the same heart. Like my heart. And your heart. The heart of God beating, beating, beating - beating the dream of love into the world. The little birds have hearts. Benjamin (my new son) has a heart, which this morning shared a very interesting perspective of my life experiences of letting go.
That's a digression though.I was surrounded by a group of men as these thoughts and feelings moved through me.
They didn't see the tears come to my eyes as these beautiful thoughts washed through me. No matter what the outside container looks like each person has the same dream of love. And that persists through the most incredible conditions. I think of the people on the street. Or the 1200 pound man who has been featured on T.V. numerous times. His heart is so persistent. And in a really strange way the story of his heart is being shared to the world. But not very many people really pay attention to the true message.
I felt, that for the first time in my life, I glimpsed the "Christ" within all. I also thought of the planet's heart. The one I was told by my friend that I am in touch with. I don't know what the structure of the Earth's heart is, but I know it is beating the same dream of love.
I've had a wonderful morning of awakenings. It started out with my shedding some tears with my wife about not getting to be with my daughter Serena for her birthday (at least physically). I also shared a secret that very few people know. About being alone.
I know in my heart of hearts, that I have never intentionally hurt anyone. And I am a good person. So these apparent sacrifices, or experiences of "letting go" are the Divine's training plan. The plan for me to fulfill my destiny. I know that the heart of God beats my heart. And I am grateful for my friend Tom's intervention to help me realize the phantasmical truth at deeper and more meaningful levels.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
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